The Kingsley Report

Odds and Sodds, Rants and Raves about the sporting world.
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Oh - 14 March 2016

Greetings everybody. Time is disappearing at a rate of knots, I cannot believe it is already mid March 2016, I guess before I blink it will be Christmas again.     


I have had mixed emotions about the new Super Rugby format and that’s probably why I am only writing about it 3 weeks into the competition. Ironically, I have really enjoyed the Jaguars and the Sunwolves as they play an exciting brand of rugby because they are trying to play the game properly and not play the one off runner crap that South African rugby has become infamous for. If the Jaguars can sort out their discipline and not get 2 yellow cards every time that they play, they could be a very good team.

As much as I hate the Stormers, the victory that the Sharks got on Saturday felt very hollow. The penalty try and yellow card that was awarded against them was atrocious and was out of the Bryce Lawrence handbook of refereeing. I am the first to bitch and complain when decisions go against teams I support, so it is only fair that I admit when a bullshit decision went for the team that I support. With that said I will take 3 wins from 3 games every day of the week.

Barring this past Saturday where the Lions were a bit unlucky and played pretty badly for the first 10 minutes of the second half, they have been far and away the best South African team to date. They have a good set of forwards with a quick scrumhalf that creates space for their backline and it is a pleasant change seeing the ball get past the inside centre when a South African team plays. The worrying thing is that if they are our best team, we are going to get pounded like a nymphomaniac at a swingers party in the Rugby Championship in the next few months as our skill sets and fitness is way behind our New Zealand counterparts, and the gap seems to be getting bigger every year.   


The ICC has once again shown that they are a bunch of dickheads. For the T20 World Cup that has started recently, the associate nations have had limited game time and the few games that they have been given have either been rained out or been cut to 6 or 7 overs a game because of the diabolical weather at the moment in India. The game cannot grow if the associate teams don’t get a chance to play against decent opposition.

Perhaps something to consider for the powers that be is making the format like the Sevens tournaments where everybody gets to play 6 or 7 games as teams that get knocked out can play in a “shield” or “bowl” type final. But I suppose the inherent problem is that I am expecting common sense and foresight from the organisation that doesn’t possess any and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

India are the clear favourites for the tournament and will be very surprised if they don’t win comfortably. The only other potential winners are Sri Lanka or Pakistan. South Africa will cock it up (Again) as we still haven’t found the right combinations even though for once we have had proper preparation for the tournament.


The only thing I have to say is that Arsene Wenger must quit. I am over him. The end.


Some say that Everton is the beginning, the middle but never the end.

Thanks for giving this a read, please tell all of your friends, family and unloved ones about it.

Brave Cricket - 18 January 2016

Greetings everybody. Happy 2016 to you all, 2015 was a very busy year and was pretty taxing, but very rewarding at the same time. Let’s hope that things can stabilise in our beautiful country this year, we all live in hope.    


I need the new rugby season to start.


Second request.

January has to be the worst month of the year for sport.

With that said, I think the average nuclear physicist would battle to understand how the new Super 276 works. As a result of this, we will just have to see how it works as it goes along. I can’t help but feel that the whole point of the competition is being lost with so many teams in the tournament now.    


This is something that I need to get off my chest. I know that I tend to fly off the handle when we lose but this is something that has been brewing for a long time. Our test team is in an absolute shambles at the moment, and I don’t see how it is going to come right in the short term.

I understand that in sport that sometimes you have to lose, but the way that we have lost these last two test series has been atrocious to put it mildly. For the entire test series in India we all heard bullshit excuses about how tired they were, how much they missed home, how horrible the pitches were to bat on and how hot it is. Sorry, but that is not good enough, we have historically played well in India against better Indian teams and the only reason that we didn’t lose the test series 4-0 was because it rained from Day 2 to Day 5 in the second test. Furthermore, I find it intriguing how we can be so tired when we played less test cricket than just about every test playing nation in 2015 but be that as it may.

So then they come back home to play against an average, if not slightly decent English team that do no more than the basics well, and again, we have had far better English teams come to our shores over the years. On paper, we would expect to beat them comfortably and here we are 2-0 down in the test series, having had a captain resign mid way through the series, our premier fast bowler out for the series, and our wicket keeper (Who should have played from the first test) getting injured with a freak injury. Again, no changes are made to the team as the abomination that happened in India apparently did not happen. 

The fundamental issue in the team at the moment is the amount of apathy that seems to running rife in the squad at the moment. The Wanderers pitch that we played on this past weekend is one of the best “cricket wicket’s” that I have seen in a long time, it had a bit in it for everybody if they applied their skills well. In our first innings, the only players to get out to good balls were Elgar, Amla and Rabada, the rest got out to terrible shots which included run out’s and numerous hooks to deep square leg and fine leg. IT IS NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH AT TEST LEVEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As for the second innings, I don’t even want to go there. To allow Broad to take 6 wickets against us and take the number 1 ranking in the bowling makes me want to projectile vomit on my face. The fact is we haven’t been able to recover from the retirement of G-Smitty and Kallis and because of this the team has no real leadership at the moment and the whole balance of the side is skewed at the moment as we have such a long tail. As for Russell Domingo, I am sorry, but he is another Mickey Arthur, he is garbage at best, and has done nothing to take the team forward since taking over. If he was Springbok coach, he would have been fired ages ago. But for some reason, the SA cricket team seems to get away with murder compared to their rugby counterparts.


We went through a golden patch for 3 to 4 years and did no proper succession planning, nor did we keep standards up in our provincial cricket and now I think we will be in a slump for a long while to come. Funny how our sport seems to be following the same path of our country!    

My five stock picks of 2016 are as follows:

1.      Discovery;

2.      Naspers;

3.      BAT;

4.      Richemont; and

5.      Sygnia.

Some say Zuma has never heard of Everton. That is a tragedy in itself.  

Thanks for giving this a read, until we meet again! K bye.

And here we go - 26 October 2015

Greetings everybody. It is a sad blog today as I have to speak about the Boks losing to the All Blacks but unfortunately it comes with no surprise as I will explain below. The Proteas were incredible but it didn’t take away the frustration of Saturday.   


In a gut wrenching game, we lost 20-18 to the mighty All Blacks. While I accept that there is no shame losing to arguably the greatest rugby team of all time, these are the issues I have with the Boks for their display this past weekend.

We did the basics well for the most part against the All Blacks. We made monstrous tackles, made all of our kicks at poles and we won a lot of turnover ball. But with that said, surely these are the absolute basics that are required in test match rugby and it should be expected rather than lauded? Logic would also dictate that we would win a lot of turnover ball if we only had 35% possession and territory for the whole game?

Barring the first move of the game, I didn’t see the Boks have one back line move where the ball went past Damian De Allende, Jesse Kriel must be wondering what it is like to run with a rugby ball under his arm? To score 1 try from 160 minutes of knock out rugby is diabolical in my book and it is just not good enough whichever way you try and cut it. 

As per usual, we were not able to change our style of play during the game. Once again, it appeared that Heyneke Meyer had given the players a strict plan and they were told to stick to it come hell or high water. The All Blacks kept up pinned in our own half for the majority of the game and their kicks by Carter in behind our defense with our defense flying up was like slow poison for us and we didn’t seem to try varying our play to stop it.

Our experienced players made mistakes at crucial times in the game. While you do need experienced players for big games, for the last four years, Meyer has been obsessed with playing players that were way past their prime. Habana was off his wing when Kaino scored their first try, Bismarck lost us 4 line outs in a row and Matfield missed a crucial line out in the 72nd minute. While these things may seem small, at that level it is the difference between winning and losing.

When Kaino went off, it was our chance to score a try and really put pressure on the All Blacks, but in the 10 minutes that he was off, they scored 3 points and we scored 0. That must have given them a great deal of confidence.

By French refereeing standards, Garcez was not half bad. As a South African supporter, you expect to have a few rubbish calls against you so to see him give Kaino a yellow card for lazy running was a pleasant surprise, but I am of the opinion that the pass that Kaino got from McCaw was forward and was amazed that it was not referred to the TMO when the try was scored but be that as it may.

Ironically, as inept as our attack and game plan was, the difference between being in the final and the crappy 3rd 4th play-off game was a moment of genius by Dan Carter to put over a drop goal when they really needed points. As the saying goes, if God created the perfect rugby player, he STILL wouldn’t be as good as Dan Carter.

In the end, no complaints from my side, we lost to a better team who out thought us (Albeit not a difficult thing to do) and the All Blacks deserved to win, with all their possession, territory and the fact that they scored 2 tries, it would have been a travesty if they didn’t make the final. The reality is that the two best teams in the tournament made the final and I am looking forward to the final this coming Saturday.   


I don’t know what the Proteas had for breakfast on Sunday but they went nuclear against India on Sunday and absolutely destroyed them. Somehow they have now won the T20 and ODI series and have a good chance of winning the test series as well. This is apparently the first ODI series we have ever won in India so that is a massive achievement by the boys, well done!

Quinton De Kock for me was the man of the series, to score 2 hundreds opening the batting in heat that makes Richards Bay seem cold is an incredible feat, I think him being dropped was the wake-up call that he needed to make him play to his true potential. Faf Du-Plessis has now made the number 3 position his own and was very consistent the whole series. Lastly AB De Villiers once again showed he is not human, another lazy 3 centuries in the series for him, we must cherish his batting as I don’t think we will see another one like him for a long time to come.

Some say Heyneke Meyer was born in Everton.

Thanks for giving this a read, until we meet again!

I hate my life less this week - 28 September 2015

Hello all, the World Cup has been a breath of fresh air as I feel like I have something to write about again! I am writing this week’s blog with a lot less rage than last week as the Boks are back to winning ways. Unfortunately it came with great cost which I will get to shortly. 


As expected the Boks bounced back against Samoa, but as per usual there are ALWAYS casualties against them as they are such a physical team, below are my two cents worth about the game:

  1. Ironically, I don’t think the Boks did much differently to last week; their style of play was almost identical. However, this time around, we played a lot tighter and for the first 60 minutes of the game and we took the points that were on offer. Arrogance is a killer in professional sport, ask England.
  2. Fourie Du Preez was man of the match in my opinion, even though he is past his best, he is still streets better than any other 9 in the country and I don’t know if we will ever replace him. The ball got out to the backs so much faster and as Pollard takes the ball at flyhalf flatter than just about anybody in South Africa since I have been watching rugby (Barring Henry Honiball of course), it makes for a very exciting combination for the rest of the World Cup.
  3. Duane Vermeulen started a bit slowly but got better as the match went on, was very happy to see him back in action as Schalk Burger is far more suited to playing at 7 and the back row seems far more balanced now.
  4. Victor Matfield must have got an ultimatum because it was the best game he has played for the Boks since his return in 2014. He stole line out ball at will, set up good first phase ball for the Boks and he even hit a few rucks for a change. It is almost like the stars have aligned for him as with Jean De Villiers being out of the World Cup, he will be captain for the rest of the tournament. Personally I would have made it Schalk Burger as he is the best player in his position but be that as it may.
  5. As for Jean De Villiers, he has to be the most unlucky guy in sport, to break your jaw on both sides in the space of 2 months is mind boggling. Since he came back from that terrible knee injury against Wales last year, he looked like a boxer that was getting into the ring to get smashed one last time. It was sad to see as in his prime, he was one of the very best to ever lace up a pair of boots. My personal favourite moment of his career was the intercept he took off Dan Carter in 2009 when we won the Tri Nations. I hope fans remember him for moments like that and not for someone that played international rugby longer than he should have.  Timing of retirement in sport is a difficult thing, and most guys seem to get it wrong, and Jean De Villiers is another case in point. He captained the Boks 37 times which is second only to John Smit and a record of 109 tests with 27 test tries which will make him all time legend. All the best!
  6. As for England losing to Wales, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch of guys. After all the injuries that Wales had and the chances that England created, to not close the game out was diabolical at best. Long may it continue.


Man United picked up a lazy 3-0 victory against Sunderland and it is the first time they have been top of the Premier League since Sir Alex Ferguson retired, it will be interesting to see what happens for the rest of the season. Spurs picked up a shock 4-1 hammering of City and Chelsea continues to struggle. I wonder if Mourinho will still be employed at the end of the year if this trend continues.    

Some say the software that VW created to hide emissions was invented in Everton.     

Thanks for listening to my magic, keep it real and tell everyone you know about my blog please via all platforms possible.

I hate my life - 21 September 2015

Hello loyal readers (All 4 of you and I think 3 of you hate me and my blog),

I am not going to start with some witty line as I just want to dive straight into business. Let’s not try sugar coat it, what happened on Saturday was an absolute and monumental fuck up, losing to Japan is the most insane sporting upset I have seen in my life.

To put it into perspective, I think it was a bigger upset than Buster Douglas knocking out Mike Tyson in his prime. I heard that you could have got odds of about 500/1 for Japan winning the game played on Saturday. It was the lowest point of our rugby and I have seen us lose 53-3 to England in 2003 and 49-0 to Australia in 2006.


After being so angry on Saturday and wanting not to go off on a tangent, I decided to not be emotional about losing and for once in my life, watch the replay of the game and try work out logical reasons as to why we lost the match and this is my two cents worth:

  1. This might sound ludicrous but I don’t think we played that badly on Saturday, we won all our line outs, our scrum was decent and we pretty did much what we always do. But the inherent problem was that we were so predictable and a master tactician like Eddie Jones knew exactly how to prepare for the game and they out thought us which was extremely embarrassing to say the least.
  2. I don’t remember seeing one proper backline move by the Boks, knowing Meyer he is probably going to drop Lambie and play Pollard but the single biggest problem in the backline as well as the team is Jean De Villiers. He is too slow, and stunts the whole movement of the entire backline. Unfortunately this is a replay of 2011 with John Smit, while De Villiers is a legend, the fact is he is no longer good enough to be picked and thus should fall on his sword and let De Allende play in his place. De Allende and Kriel were phenomenal when they played together in the Rugby Championship, and as soon as he came back, the backline once again looked as impotent as a 97 year old man that can’t find his Viagra.
  3. Ruan Pienaar is just too slow from the ruck and that’s why our backline couldn’t do anything as with Lambie getting ball behind the advantage line all the time and Jean De Villiers looking like he is running through sticky toffee when running, it is a recipe for failure. All of the writing for this was on the wall after the Argentina loss and nothing was done to remedy these issues. An over the hill Fourie Du Preez (Who is still better than any other playing 9 in South Africa presently) sped up the game when he came on in the second half. I just wish he would stop arguing with the referee trying to milk penalties and focus on getting the ball out of the ruck as soon as possible.
  4. There are just too many passengers in the team, while I accept that experience wins World Cups, the fact is that rugby is a young man’s game. The guys are getting bigger and stronger every year, and the fact is that a 35 year old’s body cannot take the punishment that a 25 year old’s body, it is simple genetics. While I am glad that Burger and Du Preez are n the mix, Matfield and De Villiers are passengers in the team and should be dropped for Etzebeth to start and De Allende. The spine of the team is currently weak.
  5. We don’t have any X factor players in the team anymore, in 2007 we have Bryan Habana in his prime and he could create something from nothing, we had Fourie Du Preez in his prime who was a genius and still is, but in the current Bok team, there are still very good players but nobody with that ability to do something special and it is needed in World Cups.
  6. We missed our big ball carriers in Alberts and Vermeulen so I am really glad that Vermeulen will be able to play on Saturday against Samoa.
  7. Blunt force trauma alone will not win rugby matches, all the tries were scored were from a broken tackle or a rolling maul try, it is predictable and easy to defend. I know I am stating the obvious but we need to vary our play or we are going to continue to get worked out on a weekly basis by inferior teams.

I think we will beat Samoa on Saturday, but there are major structural issues that need to be fixed in the team and unfortunately I think it will only happen after the World Cup, let’s hope that I am wrong!


I still hate Arsene Wenger, and it makes me happy that he has never beaten Mourinho in a competitive match. Man United picked up another victory against Southampton and are now up to second on the log, it looks like buying Martial was a stroke of genius by the great man. With Man City losing and most of the other big clubs winning, the title race is wide open this season and I look forward to see how things will unfold.  

Some say the Japan learned how to play rugby in Everton. Think about that!     

Thanks for listening to my magic, keep it real and tell everyone you know about my blog please via all platforms possible. 

Cabbages - 28 July 2015

Greetings All,

It has been a whirlwind past few weeks in the sporting world. With that said, rugby is obviously the most important thing to talk about. Happy birthday to my most loyal reader, Sheldon Klingbiel, all the best bud! And while I am about it, happy birthday to my ex work colleague, boss and acquaintance Sunesh Bhoola. Hope you don’t have too many margin calls today.


I did say in my previous blog that I thought that the Boks would be very competitive in the Rugby Championship and that our fitness and conditioning was a big concern and I was proven to be right in both instances. Myself and a whole lot of mates who flew up from Durban went to watch the game at Ellis Park. We were all so cold that we stopped drinking alcohol and drank hot chocolate at half time. I will never sit in the stands at Ellis Park in my life again, boxes are the way forward.

After watching both of the past Bok matches in the past 2 weeks, these are my thoughts on the matter:

  • Because it was the coldest day in the history of the world on Saturday, the crowd was not as hyped up as usual which worked in the All Blacks favour.
  • The Boks are on the right track. Meyer has accepted that we will never play like New Zealand so he has combined a game plan of blunt force trauma with some good backline moves to make us a little less predictable.
  • Damian De Allende and Jesse Kriel have been a revelation as the centre pairing and offer a lot on attack and defense. They dominated the most experienced centre pairing of all time on Saturday.
  • Jannie Du Plessis must have watched that Hitler clip ripping him off as he seems to be revitalized and playing well at the moment, long may it last until the World Cup is over.
  • Lood De Jager has really stepped up since Papa Matfield got injured against Australia, for me he would be my starting 5 at the World Cup.
  • As much as it pains me to say it, Matfield, Jean De Villiers and Jaque Fourie should not go to the World Cup.  We have this obsession with experience and playing guys who are past their prime. I hope that we have learned our lesson as if we don’t it will come to bite us at the World Cup. If we don’t learn from past mistakes, we will have another John Smit scenario with Jean De Villiers at the World Cup. Meyer has some very difficult decisions to make in the next few weeks and I don’t envy him.
  • Our fitness levels and conditioning are diabolical, we have the number of New Zealand and Australia but we can’t close games as our fitness lets us down in the last 10 minutes of these big games. It is unacceptable that as professional rugby players, we are so far behind our counterparts at the moment and it needs to be rectified in a hurry. While the game has changed a lot, some things hold true and one of them is that the fittest team will win the World Cup.
  • If Vincent Koch caught the ball and scored, I am of the view that we would have won on Saturday. We are so close to being number one barring a few minor issues.
  • Richie McCaw once again proves he is the God of rugby; he somehow is just born to win and find a way in the most difficult of situations.   



I learned that Clive Rice had passed away this morning. RIP to his family and loved ones; the world is certainly poorer without him. A friend and I had the privilege of meeting him after a Bok test match at Loftus one night after we sneaked into a box. Naturally we got onto the topic of cricket, and he casually told us that “Graeme Smith is a c&^t” with a straight face, told us it was nice to meet us and walked out after telling the lady friend he was with to wait outside while he was talking to us.  What made the story so funny was that he was a national selector at the time. Over and above the fact that he was a great cricketer, he had an opinion about things and stood up for what he believed in, the world and this country in particular needs a lot more of that. There are enough sheep in Australia.

I don’t want to waste my precious time writing about the Proteas test match that they played in Bangladesh last week. They were so atrocious that they don’t deserve to have anything written about themselves, except for that the fact that their attitude and work ethic leaves a lot to be desired.  

Some say the word nefarious was invented in Everton.     

Thanks for listening to my magic, keep it real and tell everyone you know about my blog please via all platforms possible.

Blah Blah - 6 July 2015

Yes, it has been long, I know. There have been some big changes in my life over these past few months. I went to Ireland for 9 days in mid June which is a very cool place and you should go if you ever get the opportunity to. I also took the biggest step of my relationship to date, I got a secondary DSTV decoder installed and set up properly so there is always access to sport in my home.

Anyway, enough of the storytelling. Let me try and get back into the discipline of writing this blog on a weekly basis in-between the madness that is known as life.   


For obvious reasons, I watched the Super 15 final on Saturday. During the first half, I originally thought that I was going to write that the South African teams are so crap and are miles behind their New Zealand counterparts (Which is true to an extent), and how we need to take a page out of their book etc, but from watching the game on Saturday, this is what I realised:

  • While their handling was way better than anything we produce at home barring the Lions on the odd occasion, the Hurricanes played a terrible game, you cannot run the ball from your own 22 in a final, you need to play percentage rugby;
  • The Hurricanes goal kicking was rubbish and was one of the reasons that they lost the game;
  • The fitness of both teams are way ahead of anything that we have at home. While our journalists say we must play more like them and spread the ball more, this is not possible when our fitness levels are way down from theirs;
  • I didn’t see anything from their scrums that I thought we couldn’t handle; and
  • I would hate to be Julian Savea right now, all he had to do is catch the ball and fall over the try line and he dropped the ball ala Herschelle Gibbs, I don’t think one gets over that in a hurry.

In summary, the Hurricanes were the best team in the Super 15 by some distance this year and I felt bad for them that they didn’t win the final. But it goes to show, you can have all the players, skill and fitness in the world, but if you don’t do the basics properly at that level, you will lose more often than not.

While a lot of people are feeling very negative about the Boks at the moment, I think that Heyneke Meyer knows what our issues are and what we need to do to rectify them. He said on Boots and All in an interview on Thursday that the biggest concern he has at the moment is our fitness levels so I think as an astute coach, he knows what we need to do at the World Cup. What I am trying to say is that we are not as far behind as the media says we are.    

While I accept that we will never play like the All Blacks and we do need to spread the ball more and stop the kick and chase approach all the time, we do have a lot of factors in our favour that will make us competitive at the Rugby Championship and at the World Cup this year. Maybe I am just being delusional but time will tell.


You might have heard me say this before but let me reiterate my point, I hate T20 cricket!!!!!

With that said, I watched the T20 game between SA and Bangladesh yesterday and was pleasantly surprised. As expected, the pitch was a dustbowl, but we managed to bat pretty well and put a competitive total on the board. Our bowlers bowled good lines and we smashed them in the end. What was pleasing to see is that our second string bowlers did very well in foreign conditions that most of them wouldn’t have played in before.


Some say the rusty trombone was invented in Everton.     

Thanks for listening to my magic, keep it real and tell everyone you know about my blog please via all platforms possible.

Hello Hi - 28 April 2015

To think it is already the end of April, where is 2015 going?

I always seem to have something on the go at the moment. I haven’t been feeling well for the past few months (Physically, not mentally!!) and it turns out that I had to have my gall bladder removed, so I had the fun task of recovering over the Easter Weekend. But I am happy to be feeling healthy and sort of strong again.  


The Sharks had their best performance this year this far this past weekend, for the simple reason being they didn’t play. Expect them to catch a hiding against the Highlanders this coming weekend. Gary Gold is a rumour, anybody who decided to work for Pieter De Villiers for 4 years either has so self respect or is just plain useless. Personally I think it is a combination of both.

For the first time in about 1.5 years, I got all of my picks right for SuperBru in the rugby, so if it does start snowing for the next 2 weeks, I do apologise.

I know I am repeating myself, but the gap between us and the New Zealand teams is continuing to grow on a weekly basis. After watching The Chiefs and Crusaders play, it is truly amazing. The most exciting thing about their play is the continuity when they have ball in hand. South African teams usually spill the ball in contact after a few phases or kick an up and under as they have no clue what to do with the ball.

The only team at home that seems to be embracing this approach is the Lions. Their coach, Johan Ackerman has turned a bunch of nobodies with a shoe string budget into a very competitive team. They won 3 of their 4 games on tour and have won 5 games on the trot. From the looks of things, they will be competing with the Bulls to see who comes second in the SA conference. It is a breath of fresh air to see a South African team play like them by combining traditional South African strengths of a strong scrum and good line out with a nontraditional South African strength of playing what is in front of you, trying to score tries and play an attractive brand of the game.   


Chelsea are going to win the EPL, people say they are boring but I have never seen a sad supporter when their side wins trophies. Jose Mourinho is an arrogant prick but he is awesome. Fact is he is a winner.

Arsene Wenger is tired, still no EPL title in the last 10 years, thank the Pope I don’t support them. Justifying why they haven’t won the EPL in this time is the true definition of mediocrity. For those of you that don’t know, Arsene Wenger has had 13 games against Jose Mourinho with the fantastic record of 5 losses and 8 draws. Sorry but that is not good enough in my book.   


I hate the IPL but watch it if nothing else is on.

England is playing the West Indies at the moment in a test series. It is tragically boring and to be honest I am glad it is not being broadcasted on Supersport. England’s whole system is rotten and needs a serious clean out.  

With thanks to Dennisdoescricket, see below the last time Alistair Cook scored a test century.  

Some say that world domination was invented in Everton.     

Thanks for listening to my magic, keep it real and tell everyone you know about my blog please via all platforms possible.

Speak - 17 March 2015

And once again, badness is back!  

Yes, it has been a month since I have last wrote my blog. In this time, I decided to do the King Swing in Graskop, change jobs and try and cure all dreaded diseases, the last one is a work in progress.

Things have been a bit busy recently, but this was the first weekend in a while I had a chance to watch all of the main sport properly which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  


Thank the Pope that Fatt Stevens got dropped out of the Sharks 23, as a result of that the Sharks would be 30% better before kick-off even happened. To be honest, I think the Sharks were well average again this weekend and the only reason that they won was because the Cheetahs were diabolical on the day.

Once again, the Springbok front row got shown up and they are in the team purely on reputation, only Bismarck deserves to start at the moment. There were limited backline moves and SP Marais proved he is not cut out for Super rugby, he constantly kicks the ball out on the full, is out of position and offers little on attack. I would move Mvovo to fullback and drop him out of the squad.

The positives from the game were that Marcell Coetzee was once again a force to be reckoned with, I don’t think I have ever seen play a bad game for the Sharks or Boks. Anyway, let’s hope my opinions are wrong and the Sharks go on to do well in the competition but I am not holding my breath.

Onto more exciting things for SA rugby, the Stormers were a breath of fresh air on Saturday. I know that they lost at home, but the Chiefs are the strongest team in the competition and I will be very surprised if they don’t win the Super 15 this year. Vincent Koch has been a revelation at 3 and to see a Stormers scrum dominate is a very foreign thing to see. All of a sudden, Damian De Allende has learned to pass a rugby ball. He is now a very dangerous rugby player and maybe the answers the current headaches at 12 for the Boks.  

Lastly, the Ireland / Wales game was very exciting, for obvious reasons it is much slower than Super Rugby but it was very intense and they went at each other like there was no tomorrow. The Six Nations got blown open on Saturday and a worrying thing is that all of the Six Nations teams will be competitive at the World Cup except Scotland and Italy.

With all of this said, long live rugby, it makes life better.     


The EPL race is an interesting one at the moment. Chelsea on paper look like they are going to cruise to the title but they looked decidedly average against Southampton yesterday, and this excuse of they are tired is BULLSHIT, they are professional footballers FFS. Two points separate sides 2 to 4 in the race to Champions league football so there are some big pressure games coming up. I think the current Top 4 will stay that way; it is just a case of where City, Arsenal and United finish up.



I am going to keep this short, the quarter finals on the Cricket World Cup starts on Wednesday with us playing Sri Lanka. The only result I am not sure about is our game against Sri Lanka, if we lose I am going to have a melt-down of biblical proportions and I will get that rage off my chest next week.

Australia, India and New Zealand will cruise their games and make the semi finals. After that, anything is possible.  

Some say that auto erotic asphyxiation was invented in Everton.     

Thanks for listening to my magic, keep it real and tell everyone you know about my blog please via all platforms possible.

Badness is back - 17 February 2015

Time for the half man / half hero to speak a few words of brilliance.

Now that we have got out of the January doldrums of there being very little sport on of any significance being on, we have entered a very exciting time of Premier League, FA Cup, more importantly the Cricket World Cup has started and most importantly, SUPER RUGBY HAS STARTED!!!!!!!!!!

As there is so much to comment on, I will just write about the things that have irked me the most this past weekend.  


Being the rugby guru that I am, I managed to get a whole 1 out of 7 picks correct on my Superbru, so perhaps take this rant with a pinch of salt.

Where do I start? The Sharks were diabolical and an absolute embarrassment this past weekend. The basic skills were non-existent, they knocked the ball on in contact, had the usual South African mentality of one off runners and crash ball and the amount of basic knock on’s was disturbing to say the least. I am so sick and tired of hearing that it is difficult at this time of year to play in Durban because of the humidity etc. That is an unacceptable excuse and frankly bullshit in my book, these are professional rugby players that train in those conditions 6 days a week and the last time I checked the Cheetahs also had to play in those conditions on Saturday. The only reason the Sharks didn’t get smashed by 20 points was because the Cheetahs aren’t particularly great at the moment either.

Matt Stevens has to be the worst Sharks acquisition since Andy Goode and Epi Taione. It looks like he spent the entire off season eating cheeseburgers and pies, how can you be that out of shape when that is what you do for a living? I didn’t think it was possible but the Sharks may have found an answer to Dean Greyling. Gary Gold and the rest of the coaching staff should feel ashamed to allow him on the field in that condition.

Perhaps this was a bit harsh of their performance as there were some positives, but there are no comments in the scorecard column and as a Sharks supporter, I know this better than most so I hope this isn’t the drivel that we are going to be exposed to this season.   


There was no EPL on this weekend due to FA Cup and there were no major upsets. I am looking forward to the Man United / Arsenal game coming up in the quarter finals as I hate Arsene Wenger so hope they get smashed. I would go as far to say that the winner of this game will win the FA Cup this year. Come on Van Gaal!!!!!!!!


The Cricket World Cup has started and this is the most painful part of being a Proteas supporter that happens once every four years. We won against a very spirited Zimbabwe team on Sunday and I was pretty nervous until they had the middle order collapse. On paper, we are in the top two sides to win the tournament, but I keep having this horrible feeling that we will find a way to cock it up again. The Proteas are a team of champions but are they a champion team? Time will tell.

Australia destroyed England again and England are looking very clever at the moment for not playing Kevin Pietersen in their current team. New Zealand is playing above their weight and they will be tough to beat in home conditions. I think the sub-continent teams will struggle so in my book it’s between the sheep shaggers, the black caps and the Proteas to win the competition. I will go mental if we can finally get this monkey off our back that has turned into a gorilla.

Some say that time was invented in Everton.     

Thanks for listening to my magic, keep it real and tell everyone you know about my blog please via all platforms possible.